My daughter Kim is engaged! I’m trying not to make it all about me. So the first thing I did was try on my wedding dress. And then I started looking through my wedding photos. And then I estimated how many pounds I would have to lose to actually zip up the dress. Not that it matters, I’ll never wear the dress again. My guess is 12. And then I made my guest list.
I’m trying to keep it small, but how do you not invite everyone you know? What if I run into someone who wasn’t invited? I’ll have to lie and say we had to keep the wedding small and then I’ll have to photoshop all the photos, take all the people and food out and blacken out the faces of people who were invited who are close to the people we didn’t invite. I don’t know what I’m going to do. About my wedding.
And then there’s the issue of where to have the wedding. We could do it here at my house but then I’d have to build an addition in case it rains and people want to come inside. I’m just not sure that’s the best use of the wedding budget. Of course we could have it at a hotel but do I really want that kind of a wedding? Gosh, I don’t know. And what to do about my neck? It’s falling off again.
The real question here is do I have enough time to have plastic surgery and plan a wedding. It just seems like a lot. I could ask Kim to elope but that seems cold. Maybe just a few nips and tucks and a diet. Or we could all elope! That might be fun. Dan and me on a beach somewhere, renewing our vows, me in my zipped up dress! It’s all coming together. But enough about Kim.