You’ve read about my trips to Paris and London.  You’ve heard me panic and order a salade verte for breakfast.  You know firsthand that I once paid seven dollars for a banana.  You know that I got in a cab at Kensington Square and asked the driver to take me to the exact location where I was standing. You know these things because I tell them to you, hoping that if I do decide to travel again, you’ll use this information as a way to stop me.

And normally, I would listen to you.  But this time it’s Kim who wants to go Paris, and I can’t say no, because she’s going with a group of friends, which  means I need to go too, so I can follow her.  When her friends leave for Amsterdam ( you know, because they love the Dutch) Kim and I will be alone in Paris for a full week.

What a dream.  A mother showing her daughter the most beautiful city in the world for the first time.

I’m scared too. 

Wait until she hears my French. 

“Oh, Bonjour there mister.  Do you speak English? Oh, thank Dieux.”

I just couldn’t risk it. The thought of Kim losing all respect for me forced me to think fast. And so I did the unthinkable.  I called the smartest person I know and begged.

“I have to go to Paris and I’m terribly frightened,” I explained.

And you know what this person did? She wrote me a little cool people’s guide to the entire city. I actually know where to go now. I know where to stay, eat, shop and hang out.  I even know where to get the best hot chocolate in the entire world.  I’m not kidding.  Do you have any idea how much Kim and I like hot chocolate?  Forget it; you don’t even want to know.

  It just goes to prove that even if you are completely inept, you can still fool your children into thinking you know what you’re doing. You just have to know who to ask.

You want to know who I asked, don’t you?

Okay fine.  I asked Nicole.  Nicole Berrie.  Yes, that Nicole Berrie.  The one with the bangs that hit her right below the eyebrow and right above the cheekbone—who works for Elle, who speaks fluent French, and who can get away with wearing boots in the summer.  She knows everything; and now you can too.

www.theblackberrie.blogspot.com

Go there, or be square.