In case you haven’t heard, AuthorBuzz is running a contest for a free copy of Miss Understanding. I realize that a free copy of Miss Understanding isn’t really that great of a prize, compared to say, a car, but it’s always nice to win something, and here are the rules:
Send me an email describing the most humiliating thing that ever happened to you at work. If it’s really good, I’ll send you a copy of the book. If I laugh out loud, I’ll send you a copy of the book, and, with your permission, I’ll post it on my website. So don’t hold back.
So far I’ve gotten responses from a woman whose skirt fell off while she was walking to the parking lot, one whose slip fell down at her desk, one who keeps falling, but she’s actually having mini-strokes, so that’s actually not something we should be laughing about, one whose father did something that involves a sanitary napkin that I might have to post once all the responses are in, and one who pulled some guy’s tooth out by accident. These all qualify as humiliating, and that’s what we’re going for, so have fun embarrassing yourself. I can’t wait to read your stories.
I was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to answer the question posed for the contest. Then I read it and thought. WOW I could win all of those books hands down. But I decided not to be greedy and just try for one. Here goes: It was the first day of my job as a head
teacher/tutor mentor for a reading program in a catholic school in the Bronx. I am from Queens and know as much about street in the Bronx as I do about streets in Baghdad. So I got all lost and was late for my first meeting with the teenaged reading tutors that were hired to assist me in the classroom. Oh did I mention that between I had to pee. So I finally got to the school were I was suppose to work and went flying into the building looking for a bathroom. As I bounded up the stairs I thought to myself: I am going to make a great teacher and a great mentor for these children (never mind I was like two hours late). As I reached the top of the landing and went to open the double doors in front of me, my foot got caught in the opposite pant leg and I went flying face first into the Catholic School’s Chapel where morning mass was in full swing. I landed with a huge thud and of course could no longer hold it (you know what I’m talking about) I also scraped my knees and my chin. All that I could do was get onto my scraped up needs and back out of the room like a defeated dog. I went into the bathroom took my bohemian head rap off and wrapped around my waist as a skirt. Needless to say I met my mentors with a renewed humility and have never told anyone (not even my mother) about that until now. I’m so glad I could share.
Chris
It was my first day at work and I wanted so much to leave a lasting impression as it was a job I had always wanted to have. It was my first full time since having my daughter and to say I was nervous is an understatement. I dressed so carefully and was just about to put my hair up when my daughter began to cry. I talked to her and calmed her down and then realized how late it was getting. I only had time to put my hair in a loose bun with a barette as I still had to stop at daycare, and my hair on its best days looks like a walking brillo pad. I arrived at work on time and with shaking hands went over to my desk. I kept telling myself “I can do this, I can do this” but my evil innervoice kept saying “ain’t going to happen” I started typing my medical transcripts when my boss came to my cubicle. He asked if I could please give him a print out of what I had so far and bring them to his office. I carefully set up the printer, paper and hit the printer button. Everything started out so smoothly and I was patting myself on the back for doing so well. All of a sudden the light flashed saying the paper had jammed up the printer. I turned off the printer and bent over to open it up and take out the culprit. I must have leaned over the computer too far and hit the restart button. Before I knew it my hair came out of its bun and began to feed through the printer! I was trying to bend over and stop the printer with one hand while trying to save my hair with the other. I screamed “help” and about 20 people ran over to see what was going on. I had one person trying to move me to stop the printer while the other one had my head in his hand. It only took a few minutes to save me but it seemed like hours. Just as my hair was released my boss came over the cubicle. There I was with hair sticking out a mile wide, looking like a crazed woman. He suggested that perhaps this might not be my line of work. I still have nightmares about feeling like my hair and head were going to live in infamy in my printer of choice.
I was working as a teacher’s assistant at an elementary school and I’d just had open heart surgery a year before, so I knew I wasn’t looking all that great. I wore my hair long and straight and did nothing really to fix it. Well, I decided a hair cut and style were needed. The next day I was feeling so good about my new look -which was now shoulder length and layered around my face. While “strutting” my stuff through the crowed lunch room to get my tray a little 4th grade girl called out in a horrifically loud voice: “Ms. Hawkes! You forgot go comb your hair!”