Jamon Jamon

If, for whatever reason, you’re feeling anti-pig, or paranoid that your mother might be sleeping with your boyfriend, (the one who got you pregnant) or that your boyfriend’s mother might be sIeeping with the boy you actually like, I suggest you rent Jamon, Jamon. It’s from 1992 and Penelope Cruz is in it.  She wears a very cute white dress toward the end with blue espadrilles.  The movie won quite a few awards and I couldn’t help noticing the clever art direction (for example: there’s a scene with a fly in it).  But it’s the kind of thing that is so disgusting you just want to yell at everyone around you to shut up so as not to miss any of the depravity.  You can’t imagine how slutty the mothers are in this film. As a mother, I felt outraged at the attack on my people. I can’t even count how many times I said, “This is unbelievably gross,” while I sat there watching it. Had it not been for the adorable white dress and the espadrilles, I would never have even brought it up.

I’d also like to mention that I did see Penelope Cruz in Barney’s last year and she was wearing a white dress that day as well.